Dizzy

i'm dizzy that's why i feel lazy.. hayyy!

Suki

i was in the hospital (lourdes hospital) again this morning around 4am.. no, i wasn't admitted again, thankfully.. but i was needed to be given oxygen.. i really can't breathe! t'was due to my bloated hard tummy.. while i was sleeping, i was struggling to breathe.. at first, i didn't wanna go to the hospital coz i was sleepy and thought my breathing will normalize soon.. but it didn't.. it even got worse.. as in super hirap! so i finally decided to go.. as always, i find it hard to walk coz i still got poor balance.. so my dad was holding me from the right and tito jim on the left.. it's so hard to walk.. madilim pa!

i stayed in the emergency room for more than 2hours.. we went home around 6:30am.. may araw na! and i'm starving already.. haha! and thankfully, my breathing was normal na.. hay grabeh! suki talaga! i'm tired of eating na.. pero i love eating! labo! basta. i just hope later, my doctor would decrease the dosage of the steroids i'm taking na.. my head's not hurting na naman eh.. not like before.. it only hurts when im starving.. so, food is the solution! pagkain pa rin?! haha!

Moon Face

finally, after 4months, i got to go to church.. grabe! the last time i went to church was before my surgery pa @ st.jude.. i often get this sunday sickness kasi.. most of the sundays i plan to go to church and attend mass, either i feel dizzy, got a headache or not feeling well at all.. and at last, this morning, i got to go to church na.. kaya lang.. i didn't understand a single word the priest and the commentators said.. as in. i'm so deaf! i'm really having a hard time listening to everything.. plus my right ear can't hear anything most of the time, just vibrations.. kaya mostly, i'm alone upstairs in bed, in silent mode.. parang baliw.. nagmumuni-muni.. haha! ganon din naman eh, i won't be able to hear everything people are talking about.. kaya hindi nalang ako nakikinig.. ;P

i super got no balance pa.. i always fall on the right side.. i'm scared na nga minsan to go downstairs coz i feel like falling on the stairs.. even when i'm just walking, i still fall.. super hawak dapat! hay!

super taba ko na! as in.. imagine, i eat rice meals 6 times a day.. i'm always hungry.. i got a high dosage of steroids and i'm taking it 2x a day.. my shorts doesn't fit me anymore.. my blouse are hanging on my tummy already.. i got a big tummy and a round face.. it's not healthy anymore coz i keep on eating but i don't have any activities or exercise.. ends up, i feel pain in my bones and i easily get tired.. mostly gasping for air to breathe.. i also feel my skin stretching.. exaj! taba! haha.

but still, i got a list of foods i'm craving for.. haha! i wanna eat, though i feel tired of it.. labo ba? basta.. here are some of the foods im craving for:

Phobia

my head ached this morning.. and i was really scared!

Scream

ganon pala yon?!

there are things you're unconscious of doing.. as in you have no idea of a single thing you've done..

i was really in pain last friday.. my head hurts really, really, really bad! as in my whole head.. nakakabaliw! as in! actually, my head was hurting for weeks already but the worse scenario was last friday! i vomitted whatever food i would eat.. i really got no balance.. my eyes and nose hurts.. plus the side of my head.. the back.. and there's like a space between my skull and brain.. super sakit talaga! i was screaming.. crying.. and even poking my head.. and i feel so deaf.. as in i can't remember hearing people's voices.. even my own voice..

Fat Girl Slim

my face is already round.. moon face. t'was caused by the steroids i'm taking right now.. my tummy's huge too.. and i got a double chin.. but still, payat pa rin.. hehe.

i still got a lot of poknats.. parang prayle na nga eh.. haha. my hair's still falling once in a while.. there are times that i'm scared to comb my hair so i would often just let it dry without combing..

after a month..

july 25.. GMA's sona.. so what?! talitha, maro and i went to gbelt3 to watch herbie fully loaded.. we immediately went home afterwards coz I really don't like my non-balance.. i needed to always hold on to talitha all the time or i might fall.. when we got home, my vertigo started.. non-stop! so si GMA ang may kasalanan, nag-sona kasi eh! hehe. ano daw?!

then after a month of boredom.. i finally got out of the house.. actually, i got to get out once in a while i was so sick.. but those were trips to the hospital.. hehe. basta! i finally got out! Talitha and i went to glorietta to watch her fave (eeew! haha) nelly.. we watched the longest yard.. and had a superrrrrr foodtrip! as in foodtrip! i don't wanna go back to the mall for a now coz the foods were really tempting.. all i wanna do is eat, eat, eat! ok lang if it's for free eh.. kaya lang i have to pay for it.. KKB eh.. Kay Kcat Bayad.. haha. so ubos money! imagine, we just ate burgers & fries.. tapos we bought popcorn, fries and onion rings to bring in the cinema.. then i was craving for sweets after the movie so we bought gonuts doughnut.. haha! takaw!

strike 3!

i guess you're wondering what i've been doing these past few weeks (or not).. that's simple.. nothing!

i've been very weak and loss my energy.. as in nada! zero hyperactivity.. zero activity.. zero energy.. i've been really sick! and i hate this feeling.. i often have vertigo (non-stop severe dizziness), i got no balance, and my stomach is soooo upset! plus my tinnitus (the non-stop noise i hear 24/7 in my ears) is getting worse.. all i ever do is sleep, rest and eat all the time.. i sleep for more than 12 hours daily, the longest is 18hours.. exaj sa exaj! grabeh! 

then whenever i walk, i needed to hold on to something to balance myself or else I would fall.. 

when i'm chewing my food, i feel like my head is chewing my brain inside.. 

i can't look far coz everything looks blurry.. i can't even recognize a face from afar.. 

then i keep on burping and releasing acid from my stomach going to my mouth which causes me to vomit.. 

everytime i move, i try to catch my breath.. even after taking a bath, i felt really tired afterwards.. 

i'm always in my room, if not sleeping, i'm just in bed.. i felt really really sick.. and i really hate it! i know i'm sick (for life) but i don't really like feeling like it.. i don't see it as a hindrance or something that will make me stop living life the way i want it.. so i'm sick, carry lang.. 

my doctor told me that the vertigo and all was because the targeted area of the tumors from my radiosurgery were swelling and it's a good sign.. that means, it was really a success.. something really did happen to the tumors.. eh di ok.. carry lang.. 

but as the days and weeks go by.. it doesn't stop.. its becoming worse.. i feel really weak.. all i did was sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep.. i am already tired of resting.. but still i'm tired! 

until 1 night.. a felt really really really tired of everything that's happening.. i was about to eat but i can't find a comfortable place and position.. i was here, there, and everywhere but i can't really eat.. i felt so dizzy.. and when i came across the mirror, i saw my self.. i look really sick!!! then when i was about to eat my food, i just can't.. i feel like, if im gonna chew it, i would feel more dizzy.. i just break down and cried. grabeh! d na talga kinaya ng powers ko.. if you'll see me in that situation.. ay wag na.. hehe. so the next day, i was advised by my doctor to be admitted in the hospital so can be injected with dextrose and be given the necessary meds.. so strike 3! third time this year! 

i was confined in the hospital for 3 days.. and thank God i'm better now.. still not 100% ok.. but getting there.. i just need a dose of my vitamin B (as in boylets) and vitamin G (for gimik).. hahaha! joke. pero jokes are half meant.. chaka! hehe. (til here, i'm too lazy to type right now.. next time.)

the FLIP!

after 10 years.. finally, he's here! our kuya.. my eldest cousin.. kuya franco! even though he's known as miguel in the states, dito sa pinas.. siya pa rin si franco.. our kuya franco!

our first bonding.. get-together here in our place.. though i was sleeping when the others arrived (i wasn't able to see the roberto fam.. just holyann).. it really was something.. just like the old days when the lopez clan had a get together almost every week when papa (our lolo) was still here.. if only tito vic and fam were here also.. but, just like what tita angie said, they could feel like they're with us through the pictures.. buti nalang hi-tech na ngayon! digicam-an na, hindi na kodakan na kailangang ipa-develop! haha.

Eyes On You

spot the difference..

Who Me?!

out of boredom i got to do this..

aba akalain mong ako pala yan?! ;P

I'm OK

finally! i'm getting better.. it's been 3 weeks since my surgery.. almost 3 weeks of weakness.. haha. i've been really weak.. and everytime i go out of the house just to buy something from the sari-sari store.. it always seems like my world is so huge and i'm traveling very far.. eh the store is just inside the compound.. ang chaka! haha. then everytime i'd do something like going up and down the stairs, like i said walking to the store and going home, even taking a bath.. i got really tired! as in i caught myself catching my breath.. exaj men! haha. then i've been vomiting pa.. but not the food na.. this time it was a pure white saliva like a syrup antibiotic.. it was super sour.. its like an acid is coming out from my stomach.. grabeh na ititch! i've been taking medicines for my stomach already.. not to forget the headaches.. but it disappears naman after taking the medicine.. di pwedeng walang meds, unlike before..

i was darth vader..

It's been a week since I got home from the hospital (SRS at St. Lukes). Guess what?! I'm now 85% tumor free.. on my brain, that is. Finally! It's over and done. But for me, that wasn't a very nice experience. I prefer the open-brain surgery more coz I just need to sleep through the surgery and then wake up. But with the stereotactic radiosurgery.. ugh! It really gave me sooo much pain! As in pain!!!

I was admitted June 14, Tuesday — and the pain started there. ...the pain of waiting + headache. It was a record breaking wait, ang tagaaaaal! We were already at the admission's office by 10am and due to the system upgrade something, after 9 hours of waiting, I was finally admitted at 7pm!!! While we were waiting, my head suddenly had its usual heaviness and had double-vision. My scheduled MRI was supposed to be at 5pm, but since I still have no room yet, it was rescheduled to 9 pm. My friends dropped by but I was still having my MRI, but they still waited for me to finish at 11 pm. Awww..

Things & Stuff

i was excited coz finally my tumor would be extracted after how many months.. but! a big BUT.. the SRS machine got busted! they need to fix it up and make sure it's 100% OK! so, again.. i'm waiting!!! haaayy..

it's been quite sometime since i blogged.. i've been blogging in my other account (ssshhh..!), my sentiMENTAL side.. haha! newei, may 13 was on friday.. friday the 13th baby! and it was the 3rd time since i was born.. yey! that's a not-so-badluck day for me.. hello?! it's my birthday! haha. i then realized.. whew!i got lots of friends.. haha. it was like a fiesta.. i got friends here, there, everywhere.. even at those who were weren't able to came.. hehe. luckily, there's enough foods for everyone.. drinks were fine.. not flowing but just fine.. it rained but it was more like a shower of blessing.. just light rain & it immediately stopped.. a lot of my friends were drunk.. haha! it was fun! fun! fun! another year.. twenty two! i'm not getting any younger! feeling young lang.. haha.

Hello Again!

the surgery was re-scheduled.. the machine hass currently malfunctioned! argh! i was excited pa naman.. hehe.

Bon Voyage My Tumor!

i'll be leaving for the hospital in about 20 minutes.. i'll be confined today @ st. lukes then tomorrow's gonna be my Stereotactic RadioSurgery (SRS).. i'll be coming home on thursday.. i still got a lot of stories to tell about our (trish, lea, cathy & me) adventure at punta fuego.. basta. basta. see yah! ;)

Katherine BumbleBee

may22.. yeah right! haha

it was kate's bday (kala mo ano?!).. finally, i got to see where she lives..

btw, kate is tito jim's gf for 6 years.. grabeh!!! she lives @ betterliving, pque.. near yellow cab.. haha!

grabeh! todo bonding drinking session! we chilled @ their basement.. inuman & magic sing galore! t'was me, talitha, tito jim (syempre), kate (malamang), ruthie (kate's cuzin.. my friendster n sunster), july (tito jim's life long friend), gudo (tito jim's friend), thea (gudo's gf), ranier (kate's cuzin)..

after finishing the 1 liter of cuervo tequila, we proceeded with beer drinking session.. we finished 3 cases of sanmig light.. then on the final case of beer, 2 of ranier's friends came over.. ruth was so.. RAGBA!!! haha! laughtrip.. really!!! ha! ha! ha!

i was texting with my friend trish, so i asked them if they knew someone who i could set-up on a date with her.. luckily, ruthie knows someone.. well, i heard the guy's ok daw.. we'll just see.. haha!

btw, the food were all delicious!!! yummy!!! we went home around 4:30am.. haha!

Chillin' Adventure

i went out with talitha, kariz, bene & rozelle last thurday..chill lang.. we went to g4.. we were standing for 30mins in kalentong looking for a taxi.. but there wasn't any.. so we decided to just ride a tricycle going to.. no, we're not going to glorietta riding a trike.. what were you thinking?! haha. so we just went to san fe and waited for a cab there.. it's easier and faster there..

the usual chill (according to t2 jim, kate & cris).. then we ate @ hotshots.. then chill pa rin.. haha. since we have a cinderalla with us.. rozelle left us around 5pm coz her sundo is there already.. hehe.

so it was just the 4 of us.. la lang.. chill! chill! chill! we went to U (sihan?).. then as usual, starbucks..

then at around 7:30 bene told us that his drafting berks are in gamol and they're gonna have their usual group pic, but not without him!

even with a few bucks left (we're so poor!), we decided to go to gamol.. the guys gave him a time limit.. if bene's not there @ 8, they'll start already even without him.. so we hurriedly rode the mrt and @ exactly 8pm, we reached the ortigas station.. buzzer beaters! haha. then picture picture sila. then off we went home..

that's just it.. pero it was really an adventure coz we're almost flat broke.. super sakto ang pera. haha! ;P

Twenty Two?!

i just turned 16! haha.

He Said, She Said..

He said: One night, someone noticed a star losing its usual bright glow and asked the star why.. Then it answered: "I've grown tired and weak shining for someone whose glance was never mine.."

She said: It hurts to fall for someone who made you fall in love then leaves you hanging and does not intend to catch you at all.. It's like loosing someone you never had..

do i need to elaborate? wag na.. malalaman mo rin.. hehe

sad noh?! ;P

C2 Iced Tea

i slept around 8am yesterday.. re-desiging my blog.. answering surveys (for friendster bulletin).. uploading pix.. making taj's calling card.. and playing astro pop pala.. haha! then cathy (gingersnaps) came over around 11:30am.. i slept @ the sofa again.. so when she arrived i was still sleeping.. but that's the reason why i chose to there, so that i could immediately wake up when cathy arrives.. besides, i let kayze slept in our bed with talitha coz their door was locked after we went to kalentong to buy lugaw around 4am.. haha!

X X X

had a photoshoot with taj, kariz & janna this evening..

taj in her 2-piece swimsuits & portraits of her as a flag football player.. then janna & kariz in their swim wear.. as always, we had our photoshoot @ the famous wall inside the compound.. sa gilid! that's our so-called studio.. with lights and all.. quite tiring.. haven't started editing yet.. i'll post some of the wholesome pix after i'm done with the editing and stuff..

btw, i changed the design again.. i added yellow so it would compliment purple.. my favorite colors.. haha!




Starting Over..

new design huh?!

I deleted the past entries i had in this blog..
wala lang. i just feel like it.. haha.

btw, i also have a blog @ friendster..
http://fivethirteen83.blogs.friendster.com

and another private blog..
if u're one of my closest friends, you know about it..

Updates soon.