I was sad today. Past tense.

I suddenly felt sad. So sad.

I remembered my dream last night / this morning. There will be a gift-giving event like MAY Birthday Project that’s going to happen on January and I was very happy and so excited. No, I wasn’t the one who organized it but I was really really excited to join. And then I woke up.

While I was taking a shower a while ago, I suddenly thought of that dream and then I felt really really sad. I was crying without tears but it’s a bit dramatic coz the water from the shower was pouring (Now I am laughing when I think about it. Haha.)

Why am (was) I sad?

Because ever since MAY Birthday Project (MBP) ended 2 years ago, I don’t hear (not literally) or read much about gift-giving events like that anymore (except for The Gift of Hearing of Ma’am Iche, Mommy G’s advocacy projects & Ate Cres’ upcoming event for PWD kids).

When there was MBP for 9 years, It seems like there were lots of gift-giving events like that here and there, and then WALA NA. I’m not talking about those that were organized by a certain group, organizations or companies, but ordinary citizens like you and me.

“In those 9 years, I have proven that we don’t have to be a celebrity, politician or someone who’s rich and has a lot of money in order to do something like that. From something that was so small, together with my close friends & family, I was able to start it. I did it, I continue doing it and surprisingly, it became bigger and better year after year, from 2007 to 2015.”

We really had to to end it after the 9th MBP and I seems to me that the joy of caring & sharing that MBP also ended with it and I am very disappointed.

I know it’s not my fault for ending it but I can’t help but feel so bad.

Para kasing ako lang ang sa tuwa ng mga nabigyan namin kahit alam ko na hindi naman ganon. Ganyan lang talaga ako mag-drama. :P

It’s just so sad and I comforted myself with 9 years worth of happy faces from all the MBP and prevent myself from crying & hyperventilating.

I don’t really know why I’ve suddenly thought about this. Maybe because it’s the December 1 today.

And BTW, I’m not so sad anymore.
  Advance Merry Christmas, everyone!  

It's a WONDERful life!

When I read Ate Pam Roman’s post about the WONDER movie block screening of PSOD, I was so ecstatic!

A post shared by Kcat Yarza (@kcatyarza) on Nov 23, 2017 at 7:42pm PST

“When given the choice between being right or kind, choose kind.”

Juan “Dickoy” Magdaraog organized this event in celebration of his 40^th birthday.

When he was diagnosed with Pompe Disease, a rare neuromuscular disorder, they we’re told that he won’t be able to reach past 30, and he will be turning 40 tomorrow. A wonderful milestone for him and to commemorate this, Dickoy wanted to do something meaningful.

It’s not just meaningful, IT’S WONDERFUL!

“Greatness is not being strong but using strength to carry the most hearts.”

Last November 25, Dickoy held a movie block screening of Wonder for the benefit of the Philippine Society for Orphan Disorders (PSOD) – a non-profit organization that advocates and cares for people, especially children with rare diseases and 100% of the ticket sales went to PSOD. Wonderful!

“I've been given the chance to live longer than what I thought possible. It will be awesome to help others live longer than they thought possible too,” said Dickoy.

“Be kind for everyone is fighting a hard battle. Be kind.”

When I learned about Dickoy’s story years back, it really amazed me. I was inspired. It instantly became one of my motivations to keep doing what I’ve been doing and that I can do more because PWDs are Persons With Determination!

with Juan "Dickoy" Magdaraog

Finally! I was able to meet Ate Pam and Julia the pretty and cheerful “silent angel” who is battling with Rett syndrome – a rare, severe neurological disorder that affects mostly girls.

with Ate Pam & Julia

"We all deserve a standing ovation at least once in our lives."

I love the book! I love the movie! And you should see it too when it comes out to PH theaters in 2 days.

My Powerlifter #BestBrother

October 29, 2017 – We went to Great Eastern Hotel in Quezon City for the 2017 Luzon Open and National Interschool Raw Powerlifting Championships that was hosted by the Powerlifting Association of the Philippines

My brother, Maro, and his FlexHub (fitness gym) team joined the competition.

The event was so long, but very much worth it and I actually had a great time watching the completion.

I’m not really a sport fanatic but I enjoyed watching sports competitions especially when someone I know or my friends know is / are participating in it, who doesn’t anyway?

The weight of the “weights” they were lifting — whatever you call that, is just so WOW!

It’s equivalent to:
• Kcat on a wheelchair.
• Kcat times two.
• Kcat Yarza times three.
• Kcat Yarza times four.

Kcat's weight is about 50 kg, so figure it out.

I had fun watching the yellow & red lights too that signals if the powerlifter did good (yellow light) or not (red light).

It was really fun, good thing I brought  with me the baby rattle that my niece left behind at our house. I used the rattle in lieu of clapping my hands. Haha.

SQUAT

BENCH PRESS

DEADLIFT

And so Maro won a gold medal!

He got the highest score in the men’s high school division.

Let me share with you the conversation of my mom & my brother after the competition:

Mami: “Anak, what did u learn from your competition experience?”

Maro: “Wala nman akong expectations. Wala akong paki.”

Mami: “But see, mabait ka kasi and God-fearing. Whatever your prayers nung anticipated mass (the day before the event)...... GOD gave you more than what you asked for!”

Maro: “l love God.”

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! hank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

So my tumor shrunk

 "How did your tumor shrink? What did you do?"

I’ve been getting those questions lately and here is my answer:

What did I do to make it shrink? NOTHING.

Maybe it’s because I’m drinking Reliv Now with LunaRich.

Maybe because of the the turmeric and black pepper capsule that I’m taking.

I don’t know. I really don’t. It really just happened. Last September 11, it was still big and painful and then TAAA-DAAA and then 6 days after, TAAA-DAAA again!!

But this I’m very very very sure of:
GOD made this happen!

No, I'm not irritated because people keep answering these questions. Actually, I'm really so amazed and I want to share it to everyone that's why I am posting it.

____________________

Or maybe, it’s because I am exercising my legs and the tumor lose its weight. Haha. Just kiddin

13 years of winning versus NF

I was having double vision. Went to neurologist and neuro-ophthalmologist. EMG (electromyogram) test said something is wrong with my nerves. What is it? Undefined. Then MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) of the brain it is! There were 3 big white spots on my MRI plates. Brain tumors. I have brain tumors. I didn’t feel sad, or maybe a bit sad at first; though I really can’t remember feeling sad that time. In fact, when I got home, I was running around our compound raising and telling everyone that I have brain tumors like I was on a show and tell. I was definitely happy about it, buy why should I feel sad when I don’t feel sad. In fact, I was amazed because not everyone has brain tumors. Maybe I’m really weird. Haha. And now I know the answer: FAITH. I from from the start that everything has a reason, I didn’t know what that reason is, I have no idea what is it, but I know that there is.¬

After 2 or 3 visits to the neurosurgeon’s clinic, I was diagnosed with NEUROFIBROMATOSIS TYPE 2 (NF2) on October 15, 2004.

All along, I thought it was August 2004 but then again I saw that my first MRI was done was on September 29, 2004 (link the fb album) and I was able to figure it out, thanks to my blog, an online journal & my memory.

I was diagnosed a day before our simple DBS Batch 2000 get-together at Dencio’s Grill in Megamall. I can recall telling them that I have neuro something something – a long & tongue twisting word “basta may brain tumors ako” – I can recall cheerfully saying those words. Haha.

That was also the day (err, night) that we (Lea, Pau & I) became friends with Madie again. That was one of my significant “everything has a reason” in life.

Madie organized and gathered some of our batch mates and found a way to raised funds for me at Don Bosco Technical College Alumni Homecoming & Jig concert in 2005 in Jig 2006 as well and so on.

Later on, we found out that I have the type 1 (NF1) as well and all my diagnosis (or misdiagnosis) in the past were ann symptoms of NF1.

“You don’t look sick.”
“Maybe you are sad about it and you are just hiding it.”
“You must be in a lot of pain.”
“Are you really alright?”
“Are you sure you are not scared?”

My family & friends keep telling me those words especially whenever I say: “I AM OK”

I keep telling them that I am fine, being sick and having brain tumors really doesn’t make me feel sad, I am not scared (not a bit), etc.

No, I don’t really find it irritating because I understand the reason they are saying those words. Those are their TLC (tender loving care).

I wrote this on October 17, 2004:

“She (Tita Angie) asked me what I really feel daw. I told her, "tanggap ko" (“I accept it”). I’m not trying to hide my feelings. Whatever I'm showing, ‘yun na ‘yon (that’s it). Why should I cry? Why should I get lonely? Ano magagawa non dba?! (What can it do, right?!) I shouldn't stop living life the way i want it to be just because I’m sick. Lalo lang ako magkakasakit (The more will I get sick) like depression or something.

There’s a reason behind all these. I know there is. O diba?! (Right?!) Is this really me?! I'm not just showing you that I'm a strong person even though I’m really scared. I need to be strong, but I’m not really that scared. Ganito lang talaga ako. (This is really how I am) Even in the hardest situations, I still try to look on the positive side of things. Even if it's isn't visible, I will really find it. 

Hindi ako nagpapaka-manhid (I’m not being numb). This is how I am. This is how I take it. Smile nalang (just smile). I don't really want people's pity, though I’m really touched whenever someone comforts me or lets me feel their concern. As in! Promise. But you don't really have to think about it a lot of times and be bothered by it. Sige na nga, alam ko na hindi niyo naman mapipigilan mag-worry kaya (Okay, I know that you can’t really stop being worried, so) THANK YOU.”

 And then on November 19, 2004

“My mom and I went to PGH this morning to meet with the chairman of neurosciences, Dr. Willy Lopez, for a second opinion. Well, I really need to undergo surgery. Maybe in 2 weeks.. 3 weeks.. I’m not sure but I think it's gonna be within this year which is in less than 2 months.. Hay-ay-ay! Hehe!”

At one look on my MRI plates (When we barged his office. Haha.), he knew that it was NF2 at once.

We visited Dr. Lopez’ clinic the following week and then he became my doctor and took care of me since then.

Ever since then, a lot of thing had happened. Good things. Bad thing. Problems. Pain. Struggles. Triumphs. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Like you and most people, I also felt like I was pushed flat on the ground, everything's seems wrong and I can't do anything about it, but I chose to stand up and move, Little by little, with all of my might, no matter how little it is. I’ve fought, I’m still fighting and I’ll always be fighting through life.

While tapping my head, my mom said, “You are so blessed!”

And because I keep moving and fighting, the blessings that I’ve been receiving are my reward. So, the bigger the battle that we’ll conquer, the bigger the reward.

And I am very grateful because God put me in this kind of battle; a battle that HE is a part of.

Cheers to 13 years of living an AWESOME LIFE despite of battling with NF!

Those are tumors. Blue and green are the colors of NF. 13 years. And 13 is also my favorite number.

Suddenly, the tumor on my left leg became smaller & smaller

Wednesday night, when I was exercising with Michelle, I told her that I’m puzzled and a bit confused because the tumor on my left leg seems like it got smaller again but I’m really not sure.

The next day, I remembered about it while I was organizing my files and I saw the video taken last October 6 about the shrinking of the tumor so I compared it and I WAS SO AMAZED ONCE AGAIN!!!

A week ago, I wondered: Why does my left leg still keeps on jerking even though there’s not pain anymore.

And now I think I got it… NANINIBAGO & NAGBABAGO PA, maybe?

Miracle? YES!!! I believe it & I can feel it!

GOD surprised me today!

A very very very AMAZING thing happened tonight!!!!!!

After my kicking exercise, instead of putting down my left leg, I placed my left foot above my right knee; dume-kwatro & when I touched the lower part of my left leg, I WAS SO SURPRISED! I kept saying: “Parang lumiit?!” I was talking about the tumor. It became smaller! It’s still there, but smaller. The best part is, it doesn’t hurt anymore.

A M A Z I N G

And I know and I’m sure that this is all God’s doing.

Why?

During my checkup last May or June (I’m too lazy to check), I told Dr. Lopez about the tumor on my leg that’s getting bigger & painful. He touched it & it was a bit painful and said that it’ll that it’ll be hard to remove it.

A certain brain tumor become aggressive it’ll make my left leg weaker and I was kinda worried that this leg tumor might become bigger and much painful. I was so worried about it but I didn’t tell anyone but God. I didn’t really prayed and asked Him to remove it, make it calmer or make it smaller. I just told Him about it just like how I usually have a conversation with my friends; that’s how I really talk with Him ever since whenever.

I didn’t pray for it but HE GAVE IT TO ME!

Like always, therefore I conclude:
GOD IS IN CONTROL

KCAT CAN : I have a pen that writes (Php 400)

I'm bringing Christmas earlier this year...


I am lowering the price of Because the book KCAT CAN : I have a pen that writes.

From 450, it  is now only

Php 400.

Do not be afraid. Keep going. Never give up.

People often ask me for advice about life and stuff but I’m not too keen on giving advice because I don’t really think I really know the right words to say. Instead, I share what I can from my own personal experiences. Everything I say is based on a true story — my story.

From time to time, I get to talk with different friends who are all going through the same things in life: feeling lost, hopelessness, losing faith frustrations, scared of facing what tomorrow might bring, problems, etc. etc. etc.

Here are some of the words I said to my friends that I believe are too good not to share:

TAYO TAYO

NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED

Last night, I felt so lazy again to do my exercise. I AM A LAZY PERSON. Really. I reasoned out to Michelle that the weather is so hot and I had a mild headache that day. Though I was already fine. Everything has a reason and when we are lazy, we can easily come up with reasons and excuses, right? I always fo that so I know.  Haha. And then while we were talking, I told her that I think I can stand on my own, I just need to lean my lower leg & knees on the bed. I think I can do it. And then I got curious.

May 13 is Kcat’s Birthday and then May 14 is Mother’s Day

May 13 came once again. I was happy because of course it means 34 years of life, but at the same time, I was a bit sad because it will be the first time in 34 years that my mom won’t greet me personally on my birthday coz she is admitted in the hospital (that’s what I really wanted for her though).

Wanna know my birthday wish?

“Most of us consider our birthdays as a significant and meaningful event in our lives. We celebrate it in different ways, but what is important is that we have to be thankful because it is the day that we had been given our precious life here on earth. We have to live through the days, months, and years in spite and despite all the events in our lives.

Having another birthday means a new day is waiting for us to experience life. We may be a year older, but we definitely grow wiser and stronger.”

(28 years – May 23, 2011)

Stepping up to show compassion by Tan Yi Liang

My story was featured by my awesome journalist friend (who keeps on refusing to believe that he's awesome...everyone that I call "my friend' is awesome, y'know). He is a Malaysian.

Will the be a MAY BIRTHDAY PROJECT?

The answer is: NO

MAY IS NEUROFIBROMATOSIS AWARENESS MONTH

A beautiful miracle happened to me 11 years ago

April 17, 2006. Just like today, it was the Monday after Easter Sunday and that Monday from 11 years ago means so much to me.

I aM POSSIBLE!

In 2008, I gave myself the best birthday gift from my hard-earned money. I was able to buy

KCAT YARZA DOT COM 

February 14 is GALS Day!

Move over Valentine’s Day, today is GALS Day!!!

YOU ARE LOVED

Love is a most potent force.  It does make our world go round.  It puts gladness into hearts, making them skip with joy and excitement.  In most countries around the world, and since time immemorial, a day is specially celebrated for love’s sake.

There are several stories that tell about the origin of Valentine’s Day.