hEAR

here's the copy of the letter/essay(?) i attached inside the plastic of every shirts i'm selling.. togother with the thank you note.. :)

I have NEUROFIBROMATOSIS TYPE 2 (NF2). I have brain tumors. I was normal until my disease got into me. Now, my left extremities are weak, I can’t move my left arm and hand, my left foot won’t move and my left leg is weak. I can’t walk. My right face is numb and my facial muscles won’t move. I can’t swallow well, I have a blurry vision, I can’t smile and most of all, I’M DEAF.

My world became silent on January 2006. At first I thought that my hearing aid just run out of battery or was defective, but when I had another hearing test, we learned that I totally lost my hearing. It didn’t really register to me at first, I was like: “I’m deaf, okay” I was in denial. Until Holy Week of the same year, I got a little bit paranoid that I’m sick and I’m deaf. I kept on thinking about it and claimed that I was going insane, it was a week of sleepless nights until Easter Sunday, and I’m back to my self again. I wanted the world to stop or slow down a bit, just because mine seem to pause. But that won’t happen, life must go on. With this condition, I can’t really do a lot of things. But I can still do a lot of things because I know I can. I’m deaf. So what? A silent world seems so depressing. Yes it is, if you’ll concentrate on that thought. There are lots of great things that’s happening in spite and despite of everything. I have fully accepted the fact that I’m already deaf and there’s no assurance for me that I would be able to hear again. I live my day as normal as I can without being bothered by the things I couldn’t do. There are times that I thought everyone is not talking and the place is just silent or the volume of the television has just turned off, and then I would remember that I’m deaf. I don’t really complain about my deafness, its okay with me if I’ll be deaf forever because I know that when an NF2 patient like me becomes deaf, there isn’t really a chance for them to hear again. It’s okay to be deaf, but I never lose hope. As what my ENT doctor said “Basta may tenga, may pag-asa.” (“As long as you have an ear, there’s hope.”) And yes there is! I accidentally searched about Auditory Brainstem Implant in the internet, a hearing device especially designed for NF2 patients. I researched on it very well, and decided that I want it! The sad thing is, it really costs a lot and we don’t have that amount of money to buy the device and have the surgery done. But everything’s possible and if you really want something, you’ll do all the possible way to make it come true. That’s why I’m doing everything to raise funds for my ABI surgery. I’m moving my feet forward and letting God lead my steps.

KCAT YARZA

“God is able to do immeasurably
more than all we ask or imagine”
(Ephesians 3:20)