Monday, January 06, 2014
LIFE MUST GO ON
It seemed like the world is moving too fast and I wanted it to stop, or at least slow down, so that I could keep up. I wanted the time to wait for me. Then I realized, life goes on, and I have to live with it.
Before my health deteriorated in 2005, I was fond of going out with my friends, love ones and even by myself. I was a very outgoing type of person as they say, enjoying life to the fullest. This is one of the reasons why I didn’t feel bitter about life when I became sick because I was still able to enjoy many things whenever I can. Most of my friends and family rely on me in terms of choosing and planning where and when to go, and what to do. They even tagged me as the promotor or pasimuno. But then I got so sick and weak, I was not able to go out like I used to. Or so I thought and I was wrong!
After regaining a little bit of my strength in 2006, my mom suggested that I spend summer hanging out with friends once again and going to the mall. I asked, “Puwede?” I was hesitant at first because I was in a wheelchair and it could be too much of a burden for them. But it turned out that my being on a wheelchair wasn’t a burden after all. In fact, everyone had a great time, especially me. Since then, I was back to being the lakwatsera that I used to be.
At first, my friends would often worry about how they’re going to transport me and my wheelchair and I teasingly told them, “Eh di kung paano ka pupunta dun, ganun din ako.” My sickness and disabilities won’t hinder me from doing the things I can and going to where I want go. Just because a lot of things have changed doesn’t mean I’m a different person. I’m just like everyone else. Besides, each one of us is uniquely different from each other.
I may have a lot of disabilities but I am still able to recall the happy memories of the past. My sense of humor is still intact, I’m still a bubbly and jolly person despite not being able to smile. I still recognize and remember every person I have met in the past. I am still Kcat.
Eventually, everyone got used to me still being a lakwatserang naka-wheelchair and they would tag me along wherever they would go. Oftentimes, I am the one who encourages my friends and loved ones to get out of the house and hangout. I would do most of the planning. Hanging out need not be expensive, as long as we are all having a great time.
I may only be watching them while the fun moments are happening and not understand every bit of detail during conversations, but I’m greatly satisfied every time. It may seem that I’m just sitting and staring blankly on my wheelchair but watching them happily talking and laughing is already more than enough.
Before 2013 ended, I was invited for a staycation at One Pacific Place Serviced Residences, a hotel-like serviced residence in Makati.
Of course I can’t go by myself and Talitha is always the one who accompanies me whenever I need to go somewhere. She’s my yaya, secretary, sister and best friend all at the same time. Thanks to my friends at PWD Philippines, we were able to have that relaxing and very PWD-friendly staycation.
In life, we may encounter an obstacle that could totally change and prevent us from doing the things we used to do. Just because we stumbled upon some hurdles, big or small, it doesn’t mean that time will stop and wait for us, it won’t. We have to keep moving forward no matter what. These hurdles push us to bring forth our best and make us realize that we are uniquely different in our own right, with the capabilities to grow and shine brightly. And although different circumstances call for different ways, we will always be the same person, and hopefully better than before.
I still have my life and I’m still myself despite my current condition and everything that had happened to me. Whenever something happens that changed a person’s life, people would usually say, “Life happened.” Yes, life happened to me and this life of mine must continue moving on. I have accepted these changes and I’ve chosen to become a victor instead of a victim. With my courageous and faithful heart, I am continuously moving forward with full of hope.
Let me share with you a quote from one of my inspirations, Aya Kitou (1962-1988), a sick Japanese girl who showed courage, strength and optimism until the end. “I really don’t want to say things such as ‘I want to go back to how things were before.’ I recognize how I am right now, and I will continue to live on. Be strong. Go forward. Move ahead.”
May we have more courage, strength and hope in moving forward with our life’s journey this 2014. Happy New Year everyone!